I’m on the transplant list!
After 17 months on dialysis, and countless medical tests, I am happy to report that I am on the kidney transplant list. I was initially told that being on one list, I could expect a wait time of 3–5 years. I’m hoping that being on two lists, I can cut my wait time in half. So if you are healthy, normal weight, and have Type A blood, step to the front of the line. Living donors work best, and I definitely want this to work.
I gravitate between being extremely grateful that dialysis may end soon to being angry for having to go through this at all. I always try to look at the silver lining of things but I have yet to figure out the silver lining of dialysis, other than the fact it is currently keeping me alive. Although most days I feel terrible afterward, and I can’t stand the fluid restrictions (32oz of total fluids per day are all I am allowed). Or the fact that my bp plummets so low (the other day it was 60/40) or the fact that some days, it feels my heart is literally going to stop working.
The thing I miss the most is working. There isnt anything worse than forced retirement. I can return to work after my transplant, but I don’t want to return to teaching. I think 24 years are enough to devote to a profession that I loved but didn’t love me back. So now the question becomes, what do I do with the rest of my life, especially when most people my age will be retiring when I’m returning to work!
I’m sure there are those who feel I should be more grateful. After all, I have survived two strokes and complete kidney failure and lived to tell the story. Is it too much to expect normalcy that doesn’t include dialysis and be able to work a career that excites me and pays me well?
I will eventually figure all of this out. I’ve been offered a fresh start, so hopefully these next chapters of my life will be worthwhile!
